Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
