Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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