Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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