Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
