My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
