Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
