over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
