they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize