i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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