did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
