At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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