butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
