Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
