All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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