i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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