You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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