You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
