So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
