Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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