I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
