She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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