I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
