Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize