you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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