Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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