the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
