she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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