My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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