I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
