i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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