just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
