For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
