YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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