He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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