come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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