I cannot find my penis.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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