Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Its about making memories worth repressing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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