she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
