You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found the puke drawer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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