he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You made out with two different species that night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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