I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
