um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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