Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
