Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
