you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
