I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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