quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
