he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize