It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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