guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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