My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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