Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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