just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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