when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
