she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
