Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
