just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
