Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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