i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
