are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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