Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
