If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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