I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
