Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
