that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just had sex on a roof
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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