i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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