shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
