The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize