So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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