One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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