He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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