yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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