let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
