terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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