Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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